Have you ever heard the saying that about 70% of communication is portrayed through body language?
Before someone even opens their mouth to speak, we start assuming what they are like just by the way they are carrying themselves.
How they stand, they listen, they walk, all these convey certain messages to the observer about who you really are.
So, ask yourself – what perception am I giving others by the way I am using my body language?
Are you turning people away? Or are you attracting people towards you like a magnet?
Well, in this video, I am going to share with you how to be more confident, attractive and respectable – using the power of body language.
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FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
Today, we are going to cover body language from your feet to your face, so you can learn why some are good to do if you want to make a positive impact, and which ones you need to avoid.
Let’s start with the feet .
Stand with your feet hip width apart with your toes pointing slightly outward. Why? The premise is that closed body language is associated with fear, lack of confidence and defensiveness.
For example, if someone was going to hit you, your instinct would be to close off your body to the blow to protect yourself.
Open body language on the other hand is associated with being relaxed, calm and confident.
So, using your feet in this example – toes pointing inwards is closed, and toes pointing outwards is more open.
Let’s Move Onto Your Hands
Whatever you do – don’t keep your hands in your pockets. Don’t cross them over each other or even close off your chest by placing one hand over to the other arm. Even holding a drink right in front of your chest is a form of closed body language. It makes people feel safer and less vulnerable because they are protecting themselves in this small seemingly insignificant way. But these small habits can give the perception that you are nervous and closed off to people.
Instead, keep your hands at your sides, and even hold your drink to one side to keep your body language more open. When you are speaking, use your hands to illustrate your point and emphasize certain words in your communication.
Let’s Move Up To The Chest
This is actually the area that many people have problem with the most.
A lot of people who are insecure or nervous in life have rounded shoulders and slouch. Being on computers all day doesn’t help improve our posture of course, but we have a lot of control over this area of our body and it really makes a huge difference in how we are perceived by others.
If you have rounded shoulders and a caved in chest due to years of bending over the computer, you might want to visit a health practitioner to help readjust your spine and get some exercises to help your spine stay in a better alignment. But most importantly: shoulders up, back down, and chest open at all times makes you more open and approachable
Let’s Move Up To The Head .
You should always follow the principle – ears over your shoulders. This will always make your head stand directly on top of the Atlas bone which is the bone at the very top of the spine. If you tilt your head downwards too much, it will make you seem too shy and submissive, and in the converse, holding your head up too high may make you appear too arrogant.
Also, a great advantage of holding your head correctly is you will have far less neck and shoulder tension even if you work on the computer all day long. So sit and stand with your ears over your shoulders.
Lastly, Let’s Move To The Face .
The very first thing you really want to learn is to make more eye contact when speaking. Strong eye contact is a huge indicator for confidence. I’m sure you have met people that seem perfectly normal generally, but are just not good at maintaining eye contact. This lack of eye contact will make you both feel a little uncomfortable and make you be perceived as under confident.
A great place to start is to adhere to the 80/20 rule. Hold eye contact for 80% of the time and let your eyes wander for the other 20% of the time. If you stare at the other person, on the other hand, for 100% of the conversation, you may come off as a little too intense… or even creepy…DON’T DO IT!
The next thing you want to focus on is a smile. You don’t want to smile all the time like the joker because it comes off as a little slimy or creepy which will turn people off. But you also don’t want to be one of those people that giggle and laugh all the time because they are socially anxious or nervous. People who laugh at everything and everyone are just showing how anxious and uncomfortable they are, because laughing is another way we dispel fear chemicals out of our body. That’s why we laugh sometimes, spontaneously, after something really scary happens. It helps release the pressure a little bit. The best thing you can do is to have a subtle, happy grin on your face, like you are secretly having a good time. In singing, we call this the inside smile. It slightly holds your cheeks up and curls the edges of your mouth upwards instead of downwards like a frown. It’s a great neutral position to adopt if you want to be perceived as confident and approachable.
Let’s Talk About Body Language in Motion
The rule of thumb believe it or not is slow down your movements! Why? Because if you look at someone who is nervous or anxious, you will notice how much they fidget and wriggle. People who move around too much look like they have way too much nervous energy to burn off and it makes people a little uncomfortable and exhausting to be around.
If you want to be perceived as more confident, more attractive and gain more respect – you just have to keep these simple tips in mind.
Stay away from closed body language and move slower to show you are confident and grounded.
Do not forget: Speak up. Speak out. Be ready to be heard because remember: YOUR VOICE MATTERS.